Broken

I've been thinking a lot lately about brokenness. Who what when where why? Mostly brokenness in family relationships. Why do families suffer so much with brokenness. Some of it is voluntary, I'm sure. You, from time to time, make sacrifices and move on in some areas of life, but overall there seems to be something wrong with many family ties.
As I've recently blogged about my grandfather had bypass surgery. Sitting in the waiting room with my extended family I saw several broken relationships. People who, for one reason or another, had "broken" their relationship with some of the others. Although we all shared a common bond(my grandfather) there was a distinct separation between him and the love/care for him and everyone else's individual relationships with each other.
One evening Scotty and I brought the girls with us to the hospital. They weren't able to actually go into the room and see "paa-paa," but simply being close to him meant something to them and to him. I ran back up to grandpa's room to let him know we were leaving and Scotty started out with the girls. As he was leaving my grandmother(my grandpa's ex wife and my father's mom) and her husband were coming into the hospital for a visit. When Scotty saw her he smiled and gave a nice hello knowing it was my grandmother. To his astonishment she had NO idea who he was. You see we've only seen her a handful of times over the past several years. She even went so far as to tell my husband what pretty girls he had. Not knowing that she was missing out on some of the most amazing children God has ever created. AND THEY ARE PART OF HER! Obviously, this relationship is "broken".
The problem is that we go on "breaking things" here and there and not stopping to try to fix them along the way. We move forward without a glance back. We break father-daughter bonds, mother-father bonds, husband-wife bonds, best friend bonds, sibling bonds, children-parent bonds and then just keep on moving as if nothing has happened. Then, one day, when we look around, there's no one there. No one to cling to. No one to share with.
By this time you've forgotten who broke it. What happened to break it is a question no one seems to know the answer to. When it happened is so vague that you can't remember the details. Where were you in your life when it broke, and why was it broken in the first place?
Just thoughts. No implication. Just thoughts...

Go to Sleep, You Little Baby

So, you'd think that with three small children I wouldn't even come close to having baby fever. Most people I know spend a few hours with a small child and the baby fever vanishes. Not so with me. Lately I've been ready for another baby in our home. Call me crazy, but I love having little ones in our house. I love the smell, the sounds(even tiny cries), the sweet wrinkly skin! I miss having a newborn. I wonder if Michelle Duggar is the same way. I'm sure people give her a hard time about ever wishing for another baby, but I can see where she'd feel the same way. Once mine are about 6 months old I feel like God starts preparing my heart for another baby. At first I thought I was indeed crazy, but now I'm starting to think that it's God's way of reminding me that he is in control of our family and that he will give me everything I need. Including the sanity to have yet another child in our family.
These days my womb is longing for a baby boy. I'm sort of kidding. Seriously, I'd be fine if we had all girls, but lately I've been getting boy happy and thinking what fun it would be to have a dirty boy after my three little princesses.
Now, read this, I'm not TRYING to get pregnant and I'm not going to be sad if we never have another child. I'm not going to be sad if we only have girls. I'm just sharing my thoughts. Don't send me hate mail!=)
We are having our cable turned off today and will be getting rid of our TV stuff in our garage sale this weekend. We're just ready for some changes in our family and I think that not having a TV will be the start of that. We rarely watch it anyway, and usually it's to watch a DVD we've rented, which we can do on our computer anyway. So, if you're reading this blog for the first time and are thinking "WHOA! They don't use birth control AND they don't have a TV are they weird or what?!" The answer to that question is yeah, we're weird. Aren't you!? We'd never look down on those who do the things we don't,and we expect you to do the same.
Also, if you or someone you know needs a new car or van we are selling both of our vehicles. We are really working on our debt-free campaign and selling these and getting something cheaper will help us in the long run. We're planning on having a BIG garage sale this weekend, so come by if you need so awesome stuff!=)

I just watched this. Geez. If I don't stay off the Internet I'm going to turn into a regular cry baby!

I watched as a 47 year old, lets face it, unattractive woman came out on stage, and in front several thousand people(as well as England tv viewers and now all of the world, thanks to you tube), said she wanted to BECOME a famous singer. The crowd jeered her as did I. I was sure I was about to hear another terrible singer waste my time. Then, the music started and her face lit up as she began to sing...
"I dreamed a dream in time gone by,When hope was high and life, worth living.I dreamed that love would never die,I dreamed that God would be forgiving.Then I was young and unafraid,And dreams were made and used and wasted.There was no ransom to be paid,No song unsung, no wine, untasted."
one of my all-time favorite Broadway tunes. But the cool thing to me was to watch the crowd change their opinion of her. She went from a laughing stock to the show star in a matter of seconds. Yes, she sang with a beautiful voice. She did a good job and blew everyone away, but the thought that I took away from watching was to follow my heart and dream my dreams.
Even if she'd had a terrible voice she was following her dream to become a famous singer! Seriously, so many times I let fear stand in the way of whatever I want to achieve. I think there is always going to be someone more talented, smarter, funnier, whatever, that will do a better job than I will. SO WHAT! At least I'll be dreaming my dreams!

Children are a Gift

I keep thinking about how I want to write this post. I've retyped it several times. I've been reading Matt Logelin's site since before Addison was born. He recently directed his readers to another site that just last night I was able to begin reading through. Reading the story of the Spohr family not only made me sad for them; I can't imagine loosing a child, but also sad for so many other families.
As I thought through this I thought about the countless families with fertility issues. There are families in the making that have used every cent they have to try to start a family. Families that would give anything and everything just to hold their own baby in their arms.
I'm also thinking about families who, like the Spohr family have lost a newborn, infant, or even adult child. I can't imagine the pain of burying your own child. It seems so wrong for a parent to outlive their child. Such pain must come with that fact. I can't imagine.
Then my thoughts turn towards parents who aren't taking care of their precious babies. Parents who leave their kids unattended for days, who don't meet the simple needs of their own children, who neglect and abuse the sweet innocent children that they have been entrusted to take care of. I sometimes stand back and wonder why. And how?
Then, my thoughts turn to my own children at home. Happy, healthy, thriving. I'm so so blessed to have a child at all, but three? And beautiful ones at that! It blows my mind that God would allow ME to be in charge of them while they are here. However long they are here. I want to always soak up every minute. Especially this time while they are so young and impressionable.

Speaking of impressionable:

Yesterday, as I was working on putting away the girls laundry, I overheard them playing. They were being Jesus and Mary. Olivia had the pleasure of being Jesus. As they played I could hear them BOTH quoting scripture and having a ball. At one point, Olivia came running past me looking for something. When she came back she had a blanket and she gave it to Emma Claire. She said, "Emma Claire, now you put this on the ground in front of me and say, 'Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Mark 11:9' now! I have to go get my horse. It'll be a good donkey." I thought to myself, now Leslie, you know you have good kids if their play even reflects CHRIST! Ha!

Yesterday afternoon I was rushing through getting a pork tenderloin in the oven. I'd finally gotten it in and was putting everything back away and in doing so I ended up dropping half a jar of minced garlic onto the kitchen floor. Because it was beautiful outside and I'd promised the girls I'd let the play, I was trying to rush and get it cleaned up. When the girls heard the crash they came running in to see what it was. Emma Claire was the first to speak. "Mom...I smell...poop...and puke...and...........pizza." I about peed my pants I was laughing so hard.

Easter, Singing, and a Broken Heart

The girls at our playgroup Easter egg hunt.

Sweet Addison! I can't believe how big she is!

Our family on Easter Sunday. My dress has really big flowers. Ha!

Emma Claire in her Easter dress.

Our girls in their Easter dresses

Me and the girls with my grandpa a few days before his surgery. We were celebrating his 71st birthday.

Lulu in her Easter dress. She's getting to be such a sweet big girl.

Addie Fae in her dress. She's almost ready to walk.

Olivia again. So big!

Easter was nice this year. Our new church had a great walk through experience that took us through the last few days of Jesus life, his death, burial, and resurrection. It was a great way to let the girls, especially Olivia see, feel, smell the whole thing. We really stressed the importance of the reason we celebrate Easter and I think that the girls really got it! We did the resurrection eggs with them and also read through Benjamin's box. It's so amazing to not only know that our kids understand what's going on, but they have been talking about it to others. What a blessing out kids are.

We also got together with family and friends and had lots of egg hunts. The girls loved looking for the eggs, but mostly just like the treats inside. Olivia also found out she loves boiled eggs.=) She WAS NOT going to try one, but her curiosity got the best of her and she finally gave it a try.

I mentioned our church earlier. We are enjoying it so much. For the first time in several years we know FOR SURE that we are exactly where we need to be. God is so good to put us in a place where we are certain our kids are learning and we are too. We are also getting ready to really dig in and get involved. I've started singing in the praise team and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It feels so good to be back leading worship. I've really been working on allowing God to really use me and that people would see Christ's love overflow through me. It's hard sometimes to not get puffed up when so many people compliment me, but it's been so amazing how God has allowed me to redirect that praise to HIM and to be reminded that it's ONLY HIM who deserves the praise. BUT, getting to be a part of that is so so cool.

So, my grandpa recently went in to have his pre-op consult for cataract surgery. After a routine EKG they decided that he needed to see a doctor before they'd complete the surgery. After a few scary days and two visits it was certain that he had to have open heart surgery. Last Wednesday he had bypass surgery. It was scary for our family, because he has never been sick and never even been on a prescription drug before. So, a hospital stay and extensive surgery threw us all for a pretty bug loop. He did well in the surgery though and even got to come home on Sunday! Please pray for his continued recovery. There are still some health issues that need to be unmasked and he still also needs to have the eye surgery too!=) Anyway, his heart is fixed for the time being and we are thankful for that.

I know I'm slow in getting going on this blog, but I'm not really in a hurry. I decided that I'd write when I had something to write about. I want to share something with you. My husband, a very smart dude, started his own blog a few weeks ago and writes only when he has a thought to write about as well. He's recently written a blog that I'd like you to see. You'll find it here.

So I've had people asking for my recipe for my laundry detergent. I stole it from the Duggars. It's very simple, but a little more time consuming than I thought it would be. Mostly because I had to use a fork to grate the soap because we didn't have anything else to use.

Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap- Front or top load machine- best value

• 4 Cups hot tap water
• 1 Fels-Naptha soap bar(We sub Ivory for the soap. Just make sure it isn't scented)
• 1 Cup Washing Soda
• ½ Cup Borax

- Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted. Make sure all the soap is melted completely. You also need to make sure it doesn't start to boil. Just stay with it stirring until all the soap is melted.
-Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.
-The next morning the soap will be thick and gel-like. Stir out all clumps. Fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with the soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel)
-Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.
-Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons.
-Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)
-Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads)

TIP: You can use Ivory, Sunlight, Kirk's Hardwater Castile or Zote bars. Don't use heavily perfumed soaps. Washing Soda and Borax can normally be found on the laundry or cleaning aisle. Recipe cost approx. $2.

This is the one that we use. We just leave the 5 gal. bucket out in the garage and use it to fill the containers as needed. You don't have to make it all up at once.

Here is the powder version. I'm not sure that anyone would want this one, but if powder is your thing, here you go!

Powdered Laundry Detergent- Top load machine

• 1 Fels-Naptha soap bar
• 1 Cup Washing Soda
• ½ Cup Borax
  

-Grate soap or break into pieces and process in a food processor until powdered. Mix all ingredients. For light load, use 1 Tablespoon. For heavy or heavily soiled load, use 2 Tablespoons. Yields: 3 Cups detergent. (Approx. 40 loads)

I'm also including these. We use the first one.


Inexpensive Fabric Softener Recipes

Recipe #1

1 Cup White VinegarAdd vinegar to rinse cycle. Works great. Removes residue and odors. Also helps to keep washing machine and hoses fresh and clean too.

Recipe #2
1 Container of Name Brand Fabric Softener4 Inexpensive sponges, cut in half
Pour entire container of softener into a 5 gallon bucket. Fill empty softener container with water twice. (2 parts water to 1 part softener) Add sponges to softener/water mixture. When ready to use wring out extra mixture from one sponge and add to the dryer as you would a dryer sheet.

If you have any questions let me know! Enjoy saving money!!