The Truth Is...

I keep getting on my blog to update the world with what's been going on with us, but the truth is every time I do I feel overwhelmed with how far behind I am on here. It's been WAY too long, and I've missed a LOT. Another truth is that I bought a new computer, and while I love a lot of what it does I HATE sorting through photos on it, and it makes trying to post photos on here nearly impossible. I'm thankful for the provision of a computer, but I should really take the time to try and figure this thing out because I'm limited to what I can actually do on the silly thing! Ehh, at least it has a touch screen...
Also, the truth is that we aren't doing so great. While I always try to be real on my blog, there are only so many times that you can write that it's been a tough year. We've had financial struggles due to the yo-yoing of private practice, heartache, loneliness, sadness, sick kids, kids going to public school, kids getting their heart broken, kids with attitude problems, the list goes on and on. I am fully aware that our trials are minuscule in relation to the trials of others, and I am in no way trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me, only stating that it's been tough, and sharing our nutso life with the world isn't really high on my list of things to do. I want to be honest, but honestly, there are some things I really don't want to have lingering over my head on the Internet for the rest of time.  I've struggled with how to say what I'd like to say for a long time. Honestly, there are a lot of things I'd like to share, but proper words just won't come to me, so I take that as the Lord being my filter of sorts. Ha!
I haven't really done a whole lot of blogging since Christmas, so I think I'll just highlight a few things that have happened since then.

• In January we put the three big girls in public school. It hasn't been what I wanted it to be, and honestly, I'm not really all that pleased with how things are going. The girls are all doing fine, and have really liked a lot about school, but I'm still feeling sad about not being their teacher. I miss them terribly, and feel like it's still not quite right. There are a lot of things I do like about it though, and one of those is that they are having a fun time and they are shining their light for all the school to see.
  

Here they are on storybook character day. Addi is Cinderella, KK is Alice, and Olivia is Josefina(the American Girl).

 

KK won the character award in February. Makes a momma proud!

The kids had a superhero night at school. Here they are sporting their looks. Yes, Eli is wearing a shirt although you can't tell! Ha! Check out the creeper behind Livi. Poor Mia was a little shy.

 

Another pic of the kids. Seriously hysterical!

 

My Lulu at her first choir concert. She's the first one on row three on the left.

• Brubbs turned FOUR! I can not believe he's already four! He's such a sweet sensitive little boy. I love his sense of adventure, and love for all things manly. He and his Daddy went to the monster truck jam for his birthday. He got a Red Rider BB gun from his Pop which he loves. All he asked for was cake and his Nana and Pop to eat lunch with us.

Here he is at his restaurant of choice with his monster truck cake.

 

With his pop shooting his gun for the first time! He is SO proud of that gun!

• Manly and I made rain gutter bookshelves. I got the idea to do them a long time ago, but never had the time or effort available to do them. Recently we've been making some simple home improvements, so I added doing this to my list and we knocked it out in an afternoon. They look BEAUTIFUL and the kids love them, and they are quite sturdy if I do say so myself. We used this tutorial, although since ours were almost nine feet long we added several more brackets than they say are required.

I added little baskets for the really heavy massive story books we have. They're just too big for any shelf really.

•  I also decided to have my hand at some of my own DIY projects I've been putting off. I'm really happy with the end results, although I don't have pics of those. Ooops!

I used my leftover lactation tea to dye my curtains. They turned out the right color and everything. Too bad tossing them into the dryer for 10 minutes to dry shrunk them up!

This poor front porch rocking chair was looking quite rough! After a few coats of red spray paint she was looking as good(better) than new! LOVE the new color and it matches my front door.

I also turned several things in my house teal. LOVE the pops of color!

 

•  I helped the girls(with Manly) make some killer Valentine's boxes! Judge if you want, but it was fun and the girls were DELIGHTED! I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Although I did make these reusable, so I stuck them into the attic at first chance so I can use them again next year!! Ha!

Addi wanted a castle, so castle she got! It looked super girly and sparkly.

KK wanted a pirate ship. Her box took us about 20 minutes. REALLY simple and FUN!

Livi did most of the work on her doggie box. It was the cutest thing! I loved her idea of using multi-color brown yarn to give it added dimension. The little pink bows on the ears just really top it off. SO cute!!! Pretty easy too! Just a box with tape and yarn.

•   Isaiah is still receiving vision therapy in Fort Smith, and we are pleased with his progress. I will say we HATE going to Fort Smith every other week. It's a total hassle, but at this point still worth it to me. I wish his Dr. would move to Conway though!!

Isaiah working through his therapy with red/green glasses. He does a lot of work with these so that it will force him to use both eyes at the same time. 

• I got a nose ring for Valentine's Day. Well, I guess it wasn't really FOR Valentine's Day, but I did get it the day after Valentine's Day. So far I like the way it looks, but it does bug me a little. I think it's mostly because I touch my nose too much! Ha! It's funny how the way some people viewed me changed. Ha! Honestly, it's something I've wanted to do for a REALLY long time. I just finally got the guts to do it! There are a lot of things like that on my list of things to do that you might see pop up. Too bad the next thing on my list is fit into a dress that I've always kept. I may NEVER get to anything else on my list. Haha! No, seriously. I like my nose ring and you should too!



• Eli is a MESS. No, like he's really a stinker! He's basically been sick since he started refusing to nurse at 4 months. Yeah, he's basically a poster child for the benefits of nursing. He's currently on a month long dose of antibiotics in hopes of flushing this nastiness out for good, but if this doesn't work, we'll be checking for immunity and allergy issues. To say the least, it's been a long several months of having a sick baby. I know it could be much worse, and I'm very thankful it's not. I am praying for healing and answers though. In the mean time he's just been as sweet as can be! In between making messes that is!

 

After he got his oatmeal bowl and basically got it EVERYWHERE!

• Mia Jane is really coming out of her shell since the girls have been in school. She has had severe shyness, but in the past three months has really bloomed. She's also REALLY smart and able to do things that blow me away. She can add, subtract, knows most of her letters and numbers, and has amazing control over her writing. This girl got her smarts from her daddy. I can't wait to see her continue to blossom this year.

My sweet girl wanted to write her name. She said, "Show me how, momma." So, I did. This is what she did afterward. Love her little Disneylike "I."

 

She reminds me so much of my sweet Livi at this age.



• Manly won the outstanding young alumnus award at our college. I am SO proud of him! He's really done well in the last few months at work. I can't wait to see what lies ahead for him. I know he'll go on to do great things. He's such a hard worker, and really great at everything he puts his hands to.

My man with his award. Looking quite cute, I might add. 

• After YEARS of waiting I finally got my Big Red!! I'm SO SO EXCITED. I jump at any chance to get to use her! She's such a bute, and so good at what she does. I'm so thankful to Manly for getting her for me!

Here she is in action making homemade butter cream icing.

 

• Manly and I will soon get to take a break and visit Dallas sans kids.
• I met a random stranger who knew who I was because she read my blog. Hi!
• Manly got a new truck! Poor guy has been driving tiny cars suitable for much smaller people than himself, so he was delighted to get to buy a big Ford Explorer. Best part is it's completely paid for. Best advice we ever took was to buy cash cars!

OK, so up next, Eli's party! Now I feel like I'm caught up enough that I can share about his party without feeling like I've skipped EVERYTHING else that happened over the last few months! Thanks for being a part of our life and for hanging in there with me while I needed a break!

 

Dirty South Boys

No one ever told me what having sons would do to my heart. I'm head over heals for these rowdy smiley heart melters, I tell you. Now I love my girls to pieces, but there is something special about a momma and her boys.
As if Brubbs wasn't already cute enough they had to go and put glasses on his sweet little face. I could sop him up with a biscuit. And don't even get me started on that little toothy grin my little red caboose throws my way. I just have a soft spot for these little men in training.
Tonight, while searching the house over for Mia's water bottle I had Brubbs check his suitcase because they had been stuffing things in there while they played. After several minutes of getting it opened I hear Brubbs say, "Nope. No water bottle in here. Just my sons and my guns, mom."
Oh the sweet sweet joys of being the mom of boys. May I never stop soaking every moment of their lives up. Now, where in the world is that water bottle anyway...

OH, and some of the reasons my heart is in a puddle. Look at these PERFECT pictures of our boys!

These were taken by my friend, Lindsey at Lindsey Faith Photography.

You can get her to take your pictures by contacting her here.

You can see more pics of our family by clicking here.

I am in LOVE with every. single. picture. she. took.

Our Story: It's a WHAT?!

I just love that my readers love this series! I have really enjoyed telling our story, but I've also loved hearing from some of you who are at or have been in some of the same places we have found ourselves through the years. Please feel free to share your story with us! We love hearing from you.
If you are just joining us please feel free to follow the link back to the beginning of Our Story.

Lulu at Manly's graduation.

Me and my man at his graduation.

Our little family at Manly's graduation reception.

 

Once we were back in Conway we settled in quickly. I joined a playgroup and MOPS and met lots of other mom friends. We were involved in church, and I also held a book club in our home for ladies of all ages. It was a fun and happy time in our lives.

Manly and I went back to the place we first fell in love for our anniversary.

This picture was taken on the exact spot we had our first kiss. Hehe!

 

Manly and I got really bad haircuts. I just told him if he ever shaves his head again I'm gonna have to leave! Haha!

 

I got to get ALL my girls together. Merritt, Olivia, Allison, Addison, and Emma Claire.

 

Love love love my first babies. My girls from another mother.

 

Manly being...well, himself. Ha!

 

Our family at Garvan Gardens.

Such a beautiful night with my man. And, I miss that coat...

 

Addi's baby dedication service.

 

 

Love this pic of my sweet girls.

 

Easter

 

Manly threw me a party. I guess I was turning 28. Ha!

 

We took our first camping trip. Manly and the girls LOVED it.

 

Camping!

My KK looking ADORABLE!

Hundred Acre Wood Friends! Halloween 2009!

 

Christmas 2009. One of my favorite pictures of the girls. Sometimes you just have to roll with it!

I also started homeschooling Olivia which was so much fun! We started her out at 4 because she was so smart and getting a little bored. She did great, and we've been homeschooling since then. Olivia did a great job with school and I loved the freedom we got with teaching her at home. I used the traditional Abeka program as well as some supplemental activities online at www.starfall.com.

My little Lulu on her first day of school. No, we didn't GO anywhere, but she wanted a backpack, so we got her one.



We made our first trip to Walt Disney World in Feb-Mar of 2009. That was a really big deal for us. When we first started out there were several times when we had to chose between buying diapers and food. We never went hungry, because God always provided at just the right time, but the thought of vacation had once only seemed like a fantasy. To be standing on Main Street USA in the Magic Kingdom with our three girls watching the parade was like a "wonderful dream come true." I remember looking over at Manly and both of us had eyes full of tears from being so glad at finally being in a place where we could BREATHE. It took five years, and we still had to keep a strict budget, but we were in DISNEY WORLD!

Lulu after her Bippity Boppity Boutique trip.

Manly and I at Epcot.

Our girls! They look SO little!!

We went by the beach on our way home from WDW.

After we got back it wasn't long before I found out I was pregnant again! We were going to have a little Valentine's baby! This baby's due date was February 14th. I was really praying hoping for a boy, but after having three girls I had a feeling it was probably another girl.
It was in this time that we also found out that my grandfather, who had always been the picture of health, had lung cancer and need heart bypass surgery. He had gone in for a simple eye procedure, but when they checked his blood pressure it was really high, so they sent him to the hospital. The doctors were all shocked he was still able to work with the condition his heart was in. Finding the cancer happened when they started doing tests for the heart surgery. It was shocking to our family, and we were all really really sad.

 

Me and the girls with PaaPaa.

 



On September 10th we went in to my doctors office for my 20 week ultrasound. We were SO excited to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. It's a good thing we decided to find out. As SOON as the ultra sound tech put the wand thingy on my tummy we could ALL tell it was going to be a BOY!! It was like Isaiah Scott wanted everyone to know he was a BOY! Ha! I shrieked out, "WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!!" then came the waterworks! We were DELIGHTED to be having a boy! We left there and went to a Rhea Lana's sale. We were lucky that it was half price pre-sale night! Haha! We just about bought out the boy side of the store!

Manly and I got to go on an overnight trip for our anniversary. This is me at about 26 weeks.

  

Mid 2009 we really started looking at our finances and trying to decide if we might be ready to buy a house. The answer was a resounding NO!! We had a hefty car payment, which was keeping us tied down moneywise. One day, as I was getting into our pretty white van I thought to myself that it might be possible to sell the van and buy an older model vehicle with cash. While I loved my new model van, I was desperate to have a home we could call OURS. I ran the idea by Manly(who was reading Dave Ramsey's book) who thought it was a great idea. We put a sign in it and posted it to craigslist and facebook the next day. We had also recently bought a cash car to upgrade Manly's car, but felt like we could also sell it and get something cheaper and pay off more of our car debt so that we could get ahead. We had both cars sold in a matter of weeks, paid off all of our car debt(which was our ONLY debt aside from student loans). We bought two cheap vehicles with the money we made from the sell of Manly's car. Now we were ready to buy a house!

Our little house in West Conway that we rented when we moved back. Loved that house.

 

One evening we were out driving around and found a house we really wanted to see. We called the agent listed on the sign, because we hadn't really worked with anyone yet. She came out and showed us the house, and we realized she was the agent who had just helped some other friends of ours find their home. We liked the house, but it wasn't quite what we were looking for, but we LOVED the agent. We asked her to help us find a home. Over the next few days we(basically me and the girls) looked at house after house in Conway.
When we had come to the last house on my list and still hadn't found one we loved our agent asked me to describe my dream home. When I started to tell her what we were looking for she got wide eyes and said, "Well, your dream home is right down the street! Follow me." I got in the van and followed her literally right down the street, and there on the corner was our home! I walked in and immediately knew we were home. I told her to draw up the papers, and we made an offer on the house before Manly had ever even seen it! We moved in two weeks later on Manly's birthday. He loved the house, by the way.

Our family in front of our new home.

Our first Christmas in our home!
 

On Sunday, January 24th, I woke up feeling really yucky. I went ahead and got ready for church. I sang on the praise team that day, and about half way through the first service I started having pretty steady contractions. Since my due date was still 2 weeks away I thought they would probably just go away, and they did for a while. That afternoon some friends had planned a baby shower, so I went to that still not feeling great. Afterwards I went home and laid down. A few hours later I was back up and we were heading to the hospital.

My Isaiah belly the day before he was born.



After a few hours of being monitored they wanted to send me home, but I KNEW this was the day my boy was coming, so I basically told them if they sent me home I was just going to stay at the hospital because I knew he was coming that day. The doctor laughed at me and told me I could stay for a few more hours just in case. 20 minutes later our Isaiah Scott Smittle was born two weeks early on Monday, January 25th. The doctor, not believing me, had left to go to another hospital and the nurse on duty hardly made it back into the room before he came.

Me with my tiny baby boy.

Manly with his first son!

We named him Isaiah Scott after both of my grandfathers(and obviously after Manly). My great grandfather's name was Isaiah, and my grandpa(who had died only a few months before Isaiah was born) was named Scottie. We also wanted our first son to have the same middle name as his father(Scott) since our first born daughter had the same middle name as her mother(Nichole). SO, we named him Isaiah Scott.

One of my favorite pictures of Manly and Brubbs.

Brubbs was a tiny little thing! He was my smallest baby so far weighing in at just over 6 pounds. He was squalling and bright red. After a few moments we started to notice his color changing and his breathing became labored. We called the nurses to come check him out. After looking at him they decided to take him to the nursery, so Manly went with him. After about 30 minutes Manly came to tell us they were moving him to the NICU because he had RDS(the same thing KK had been born with). His was much less severe, but they were going to have to put him on a c-pap machine to help him breathe.

Brightest eyed baby! He was the most alert baby!





My heart was broken for my tiny boy! Honestly, I hadn't even THOUGHT about the fact that he could be unhealthy. After having a healthy Addison I thought these days were behind us, but here we were again facing the SAME situation we'd been in before. I almost couldn't bare it. I asked all of the visitors who had come to see our boy to leave, and I sat in my empty room and sobbed.

Look at all that BLUE!

 

Speaking honestly, I felt betrayed by God in those moments. How could HE do this to ME again. Why me? Why him? What had we done? The questions came rushing out of me as I laid there unable to be with my baby. Then, I remembered the fact that GOD was in control. He had allowed this to happen for a reason, and He needed me to know that He loved Isaiah more than I did. God had his tiny life in His hands. Things changed in those moments. My attitude toward the situation changed. My heart, though heavy, changed.

When we finally got to bring Brubbs home our dear friend, Becke' from Lulu Photography came and took these amazing pictures.

Could this be any sweeter? I think not! Look at the snowman in the background!

Oh those sweet baby wrinkles!!

Love this one!

 

Isaiah quickly recovered. He was a brave little fighter. We were so happy that we never had to leave the hospital without our baby. He came home after 4 only days. His sisters were smitten, his mommy in LOVE, and his daddy prepared to teach him to be a man.

Because Isaiah was whisked away to the NICU the girls didn't get to see him at all until we brought him home. We went by my parents house on the way home to pick them up and they QUICKLY fell in love.

 

Easter 2010.

This is my granny's great grandkids. Well, the ones in 2010, anyway. There are a lot more now! Ha! 

 

Manly and Isaiah were on the cover of the Infant Mental Health Brochure.

 

We filled a kid sized swing up. LOVE this picture of my sweet babies.

 

We outgrew watching videos around the laptop.

 

Olivia had a pony party!

 

Momma and Addi in our cowgirl wear.

 

He decided he'd go ahead and keep me. HA!

 

We figured out pretty quickly that Isaiah had pretty severe issues with his eyes. At first we thought it was just normal newborn crossing, but then it never quit. When he was 5 months old he was diagnosed with congenital esotropia. We had him seen by three doctors before we decided that we would go ahead with corrective surgery. At six months he had the surgery. We were so pleased with the results.

Isaiah at about four months.

 

This is what his eyes looked like the day before surgery.

Right after surgery. You can already tell a HUGE difference even with the swelling and redness.

48 hours after surgery. Amazing!

 

About a month after the surgery.

Baby dedication day.

Father's day. Look how tiny KK looks!

Brubbs' first baseball game!!

 

LOVE this picture of Manly and Brubbs!

 

My little piano players. They still like to play the piano together!

 

LOVE this picture even though no one is looking at the camera. Fall 2010.

My handsome baby boy!

Manly and I looking a little more tired than we did a few posts ago.

Four kids down, two more to go...