That Smell Made Me Cry

We had a cookout at church recently. It was catered by a local bbq place. They brought smoked chicken and the fixings. It was a yummy meal and the staff from Hog Pen was fantastic-even bringing around extra rolls and chicken legs to the kids(and anyone else who wanted one. Ahem, MANLY). We ate our fill and got our things together to leave.
As we passed by the kitchen, I stuck my head in and thanked the staff. The owner followed us out asking about our family. He told us he too had a large family and that they were now all in the kitchen working for him. Manly jokingly said that's what we were raising our crew for.
As we were getting the kids into the car he came back with three large bags of chicken. He said, "I know you can use this. Take it. We'll just end up throwing it out. I can't stand to see that happen when I know it could bless you." Manly, humbled by his sweet words, kindly took the bags and thanked the man.
When we got home I grabbed the bags out of the car. When I did I got a big whiff of the chicken. It smelled like smoke and meat. When I smelled it I immediately started to cry. I've smelled that smell before. But it's been a while...
I remember being little and getting my school supplies every year. You know that smell of fresh supplies? Oh how I love that smell. Paste and Crayola's have a way of reminding me of recess, adverbs, and multiplication. Still to this day, I can walk into a school and it takes me back to being a kid.
The same happens when I smell Exclamation! and Sunflowers perfume. I go back to my younger teenage years. I can totally remember my friends and I basically bathing in that stuff, getting all dolled up, and going to the mall for the day to people watch and shop at Claire's. Good times. Good smells.
But this smell, this masculine thick smell, reminded me of one of my favorite people. My grandpa was one of the kindest, most thoughtful, hardworking men I've ever known. A lifetime smoker, he always had a smoky masculine smell. When he'd finally come in from his body shop (where he worked all my life) he would get cleaned up and come over to our house dressed in his best western cut shirt. He'd have gel slicked hair, and spicy aftershave smell. He'd likely have some gift for my mother to thank her for the meal. He'd also have a story and a laugh to share.
I remember being a tiny child watching him fry eggs and bacon on Christmas morning. He'd slip me a slice of bacon with a wink and a smile.  He'd open his fridge which ALWAYS smelled like buttermilk, and get another dozen eggs to fry. He cooked for his entire family each Christmas morning for years.
My favorite though was Thanksgiving. That man knew how to fry a turkey! He'd be up early on Thanksgiving morning getting the birds ready. He'd come over later with a perfectly fried turkey in his arms and a smile on his face. He'd put that sucker on the table with a laugh, and I'd have to sneak just a little smidge. He'd laugh and me and give me a hug as I munched. It was THAT smell. That meaty manly smell that I smelled when I brought that chicken in.
Now the last of the bags sits in my fridge. I find myself not wanting to finish it up. Each time I open the fridge I smell that smell and I remember all over again.

The Invisible Blogger

I know. I stink at blogging these days. Just no time for it, I guess.

I'm almost 23 weeks.

Whoa.

A picture to prove it.

My book club is currently reading through "The New Eve." I'm still forming an opinion on how I really feel about what I'm reading. Some of it is amazing. Some of it is making me think. Some of it makes me a little sad. Hmm...

My grandfather, my dad's dad, isn't doing well. He's been having treatments for lung cancer for the past several months and on Sunday evening passed out from lack of oxygen and was taken to the hospital. They think he's got pneumonia. They had to put him on a ventilator yesterday and aren't sure of his chances to come off. Things are looking pretty grey, so we are just asking for God's will and acceptance. I'm also praying for his salvation. We aren't 100% sure of what he believes. We know he BELIEVES in God, we just aren't sure he's accepted Jesus as his savior. Please join me as we pray. We also know that God can choose to heal him.

Scotty and I took a much needed mini vay-cay this past week. We drove up to NW AR for a concert and a night in a cool hotel with a nice dinner and dessert to top it all off. We really liked the hotel. It was a little strange to see so many corporate people there since we went in the middle of the week. I can't imagine living that life of hotels, not knowing people in the town your staying, eating out. It's all a special treat to me, but thinking about it as a full-time job is weird for me. Anyway, we had a wonderful time and the girls seemed to do great while we were gone thanks to some good friends who kept them busy.

Speaking of busy. I need to be getting dinner ready to go in the oven....later.

Broken

I've been thinking a lot lately about brokenness. Who what when where why? Mostly brokenness in family relationships. Why do families suffer so much with brokenness. Some of it is voluntary, I'm sure. You, from time to time, make sacrifices and move on in some areas of life, but overall there seems to be something wrong with many family ties.
As I've recently blogged about my grandfather had bypass surgery. Sitting in the waiting room with my extended family I saw several broken relationships. People who, for one reason or another, had "broken" their relationship with some of the others. Although we all shared a common bond(my grandfather) there was a distinct separation between him and the love/care for him and everyone else's individual relationships with each other.
One evening Scotty and I brought the girls with us to the hospital. They weren't able to actually go into the room and see "paa-paa," but simply being close to him meant something to them and to him. I ran back up to grandpa's room to let him know we were leaving and Scotty started out with the girls. As he was leaving my grandmother(my grandpa's ex wife and my father's mom) and her husband were coming into the hospital for a visit. When Scotty saw her he smiled and gave a nice hello knowing it was my grandmother. To his astonishment she had NO idea who he was. You see we've only seen her a handful of times over the past several years. She even went so far as to tell my husband what pretty girls he had. Not knowing that she was missing out on some of the most amazing children God has ever created. AND THEY ARE PART OF HER! Obviously, this relationship is "broken".
The problem is that we go on "breaking things" here and there and not stopping to try to fix them along the way. We move forward without a glance back. We break father-daughter bonds, mother-father bonds, husband-wife bonds, best friend bonds, sibling bonds, children-parent bonds and then just keep on moving as if nothing has happened. Then, one day, when we look around, there's no one there. No one to cling to. No one to share with.
By this time you've forgotten who broke it. What happened to break it is a question no one seems to know the answer to. When it happened is so vague that you can't remember the details. Where were you in your life when it broke, and why was it broken in the first place?
Just thoughts. No implication. Just thoughts...

Easter, Singing, and a Broken Heart

The girls at our playgroup Easter egg hunt.

Sweet Addison! I can't believe how big she is!

Our family on Easter Sunday. My dress has really big flowers. Ha!

Emma Claire in her Easter dress.

Our girls in their Easter dresses

Me and the girls with my grandpa a few days before his surgery. We were celebrating his 71st birthday.

Lulu in her Easter dress. She's getting to be such a sweet big girl.

Addie Fae in her dress. She's almost ready to walk.

Olivia again. So big!

Easter was nice this year. Our new church had a great walk through experience that took us through the last few days of Jesus life, his death, burial, and resurrection. It was a great way to let the girls, especially Olivia see, feel, smell the whole thing. We really stressed the importance of the reason we celebrate Easter and I think that the girls really got it! We did the resurrection eggs with them and also read through Benjamin's box. It's so amazing to not only know that our kids understand what's going on, but they have been talking about it to others. What a blessing out kids are.

We also got together with family and friends and had lots of egg hunts. The girls loved looking for the eggs, but mostly just like the treats inside. Olivia also found out she loves boiled eggs.=) She WAS NOT going to try one, but her curiosity got the best of her and she finally gave it a try.

I mentioned our church earlier. We are enjoying it so much. For the first time in several years we know FOR SURE that we are exactly where we need to be. God is so good to put us in a place where we are certain our kids are learning and we are too. We are also getting ready to really dig in and get involved. I've started singing in the praise team and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It feels so good to be back leading worship. I've really been working on allowing God to really use me and that people would see Christ's love overflow through me. It's hard sometimes to not get puffed up when so many people compliment me, but it's been so amazing how God has allowed me to redirect that praise to HIM and to be reminded that it's ONLY HIM who deserves the praise. BUT, getting to be a part of that is so so cool.

So, my grandpa recently went in to have his pre-op consult for cataract surgery. After a routine EKG they decided that he needed to see a doctor before they'd complete the surgery. After a few scary days and two visits it was certain that he had to have open heart surgery. Last Wednesday he had bypass surgery. It was scary for our family, because he has never been sick and never even been on a prescription drug before. So, a hospital stay and extensive surgery threw us all for a pretty bug loop. He did well in the surgery though and even got to come home on Sunday! Please pray for his continued recovery. There are still some health issues that need to be unmasked and he still also needs to have the eye surgery too!=) Anyway, his heart is fixed for the time being and we are thankful for that.