Moment of Truth

If you've ever had a baby you know about that moment. The one where you hold your baby for the very first time. You look into their face and think, "Whoa. I've been waiting for you. Here you are. I love you!"

Here is that moment times six.

Olivia made you a dad.

 

Emma Claire made you glad.

 

Your faith grew stronger with Addison.

Isaiah gave you son number one.

Mia showed you a true strong will.

 

Eli gave you no time to chill.

 

We love you our big strong Manly Man.

I couldn't ask for a better mate and more perfect father for our kids.

You are wise yet humble, strong yet tender, and kind and handsome to boot.

Thank you for choosing me, loving me, and giving me our children.

You'll always be my frog prince first, but you rock the roll of daddy.

 

Happy Father's Day!

 

The Truth Is...

I keep getting on my blog to update the world with what's been going on with us, but the truth is every time I do I feel overwhelmed with how far behind I am on here. It's been WAY too long, and I've missed a LOT. Another truth is that I bought a new computer, and while I love a lot of what it does I HATE sorting through photos on it, and it makes trying to post photos on here nearly impossible. I'm thankful for the provision of a computer, but I should really take the time to try and figure this thing out because I'm limited to what I can actually do on the silly thing! Ehh, at least it has a touch screen...
Also, the truth is that we aren't doing so great. While I always try to be real on my blog, there are only so many times that you can write that it's been a tough year. We've had financial struggles due to the yo-yoing of private practice, heartache, loneliness, sadness, sick kids, kids going to public school, kids getting their heart broken, kids with attitude problems, the list goes on and on. I am fully aware that our trials are minuscule in relation to the trials of others, and I am in no way trying to get anyone to feel sorry for me, only stating that it's been tough, and sharing our nutso life with the world isn't really high on my list of things to do. I want to be honest, but honestly, there are some things I really don't want to have lingering over my head on the Internet for the rest of time.  I've struggled with how to say what I'd like to say for a long time. Honestly, there are a lot of things I'd like to share, but proper words just won't come to me, so I take that as the Lord being my filter of sorts. Ha!
I haven't really done a whole lot of blogging since Christmas, so I think I'll just highlight a few things that have happened since then.

• In January we put the three big girls in public school. It hasn't been what I wanted it to be, and honestly, I'm not really all that pleased with how things are going. The girls are all doing fine, and have really liked a lot about school, but I'm still feeling sad about not being their teacher. I miss them terribly, and feel like it's still not quite right. There are a lot of things I do like about it though, and one of those is that they are having a fun time and they are shining their light for all the school to see.
  

Here they are on storybook character day. Addi is Cinderella, KK is Alice, and Olivia is Josefina(the American Girl).

 

KK won the character award in February. Makes a momma proud!

The kids had a superhero night at school. Here they are sporting their looks. Yes, Eli is wearing a shirt although you can't tell! Ha! Check out the creeper behind Livi. Poor Mia was a little shy.

 

Another pic of the kids. Seriously hysterical!

 

My Lulu at her first choir concert. She's the first one on row three on the left.

• Brubbs turned FOUR! I can not believe he's already four! He's such a sweet sensitive little boy. I love his sense of adventure, and love for all things manly. He and his Daddy went to the monster truck jam for his birthday. He got a Red Rider BB gun from his Pop which he loves. All he asked for was cake and his Nana and Pop to eat lunch with us.

Here he is at his restaurant of choice with his monster truck cake.

 

With his pop shooting his gun for the first time! He is SO proud of that gun!

• Manly and I made rain gutter bookshelves. I got the idea to do them a long time ago, but never had the time or effort available to do them. Recently we've been making some simple home improvements, so I added doing this to my list and we knocked it out in an afternoon. They look BEAUTIFUL and the kids love them, and they are quite sturdy if I do say so myself. We used this tutorial, although since ours were almost nine feet long we added several more brackets than they say are required.

I added little baskets for the really heavy massive story books we have. They're just too big for any shelf really.

•  I also decided to have my hand at some of my own DIY projects I've been putting off. I'm really happy with the end results, although I don't have pics of those. Ooops!

I used my leftover lactation tea to dye my curtains. They turned out the right color and everything. Too bad tossing them into the dryer for 10 minutes to dry shrunk them up!

This poor front porch rocking chair was looking quite rough! After a few coats of red spray paint she was looking as good(better) than new! LOVE the new color and it matches my front door.

I also turned several things in my house teal. LOVE the pops of color!

 

•  I helped the girls(with Manly) make some killer Valentine's boxes! Judge if you want, but it was fun and the girls were DELIGHTED! I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Although I did make these reusable, so I stuck them into the attic at first chance so I can use them again next year!! Ha!

Addi wanted a castle, so castle she got! It looked super girly and sparkly.

KK wanted a pirate ship. Her box took us about 20 minutes. REALLY simple and FUN!

Livi did most of the work on her doggie box. It was the cutest thing! I loved her idea of using multi-color brown yarn to give it added dimension. The little pink bows on the ears just really top it off. SO cute!!! Pretty easy too! Just a box with tape and yarn.

•   Isaiah is still receiving vision therapy in Fort Smith, and we are pleased with his progress. I will say we HATE going to Fort Smith every other week. It's a total hassle, but at this point still worth it to me. I wish his Dr. would move to Conway though!!

Isaiah working through his therapy with red/green glasses. He does a lot of work with these so that it will force him to use both eyes at the same time. 

• I got a nose ring for Valentine's Day. Well, I guess it wasn't really FOR Valentine's Day, but I did get it the day after Valentine's Day. So far I like the way it looks, but it does bug me a little. I think it's mostly because I touch my nose too much! Ha! It's funny how the way some people viewed me changed. Ha! Honestly, it's something I've wanted to do for a REALLY long time. I just finally got the guts to do it! There are a lot of things like that on my list of things to do that you might see pop up. Too bad the next thing on my list is fit into a dress that I've always kept. I may NEVER get to anything else on my list. Haha! No, seriously. I like my nose ring and you should too!



• Eli is a MESS. No, like he's really a stinker! He's basically been sick since he started refusing to nurse at 4 months. Yeah, he's basically a poster child for the benefits of nursing. He's currently on a month long dose of antibiotics in hopes of flushing this nastiness out for good, but if this doesn't work, we'll be checking for immunity and allergy issues. To say the least, it's been a long several months of having a sick baby. I know it could be much worse, and I'm very thankful it's not. I am praying for healing and answers though. In the mean time he's just been as sweet as can be! In between making messes that is!

 

After he got his oatmeal bowl and basically got it EVERYWHERE!

• Mia Jane is really coming out of her shell since the girls have been in school. She has had severe shyness, but in the past three months has really bloomed. She's also REALLY smart and able to do things that blow me away. She can add, subtract, knows most of her letters and numbers, and has amazing control over her writing. This girl got her smarts from her daddy. I can't wait to see her continue to blossom this year.

My sweet girl wanted to write her name. She said, "Show me how, momma." So, I did. This is what she did afterward. Love her little Disneylike "I."

 

She reminds me so much of my sweet Livi at this age.



• Manly won the outstanding young alumnus award at our college. I am SO proud of him! He's really done well in the last few months at work. I can't wait to see what lies ahead for him. I know he'll go on to do great things. He's such a hard worker, and really great at everything he puts his hands to.

My man with his award. Looking quite cute, I might add. 

• After YEARS of waiting I finally got my Big Red!! I'm SO SO EXCITED. I jump at any chance to get to use her! She's such a bute, and so good at what she does. I'm so thankful to Manly for getting her for me!

Here she is in action making homemade butter cream icing.

 

• Manly and I will soon get to take a break and visit Dallas sans kids.
• I met a random stranger who knew who I was because she read my blog. Hi!
• Manly got a new truck! Poor guy has been driving tiny cars suitable for much smaller people than himself, so he was delighted to get to buy a big Ford Explorer. Best part is it's completely paid for. Best advice we ever took was to buy cash cars!

OK, so up next, Eli's party! Now I feel like I'm caught up enough that I can share about his party without feeling like I've skipped EVERYTHING else that happened over the last few months! Thanks for being a part of our life and for hanging in there with me while I needed a break!

 

We Need to Get Back to the Basics of Life

Knock Knock!!
Who's There?
Regular Blog Posts.
Regular Blog Posts, who?
Regular Blog posts are MUCH easier to keep up with!

Whew!! I feel like I've been chain blogging FOREVER! First with the Disney Blogs, then with Our Story. If you haven't read either I'd encourage you to follow the links because they both turned out really fun, but I'm exhausted from all the writing!!

We celebrated ten years of marriage yesterday with a nice regular day. Because we went on a special date a few weeks ago we didn't go out, but Manly got up and made a delicious breakfast. While it was cooking we watched our wedding video with the kids who thought it was hysterical to see what everyone looked like ten years ago.
Manly had a few appointments, so we did school while he worked. After naptime we went to a few thrift stores in search of a cool living room table. The kids busted mine that I got from my BFF, so I'm on the lookout for a cool table I can paint. We didn't find what I was looking for so we came home and the kids went outside to ride on the tire swing Manly recently placed in the tree. While they played I got dinner ready for the kids and Manly sprayed the garage for bugs. Manly went to teach, and I got the kids cleaned up, fed, and put to bed. Once they were all down I worked out, showered, and sat down for my favorite night of television and waited for Manly to bring home dinner.
It was that moment. That moment my bum hit the couch that I realized it had been a good day. Not fancy, not expensive, not really even special, just good. Special days always seem to be the worst! I think we get in our minds some expectations that our spouse should live up to. Because it's usually something that we haven't discussed we end up disappointed and frustrated. It was so nice not to have to deal with that drama yesterday. Mostly, I think it was because the night before I had a conversation that went something like this, "So...Tomorrow is our anniversary. You don't have any crazy surprise plans for us do you? Or some fancy card you made from glitter glue?" Manly kind of laughed at first then simply replied, "Uh, no. Just breakfast. What sounds good?" It was a simple conversation, but one that made a big impact on our day. Crazy what a little communication can do for a marriage. I guess we have learned a little bit in the last ten years.

A little of our life straight from my phone.

My SEVEN month old dropped his chew toy,  pulled the cushion off the chair, and climbed up for a bounce. No joke. This kid is the smartest most agile baby!!

 

Once he stopped jumping he sat down, looked around, then had to figure out how to get down. He crawled right off then moved on to more destruction.

 

I heard the fridge open and knew the big kids were all upstairs, so I went in to see who it was. This is the site I found.

 

I stood there in shock for a minute, took a picture, then said, "Hey. Whatcha doing?" 

 

Mia turned around and said, "I help you make homemade pizza for my dinner momma! I get pepperoni for you!" She was so proud. Lil Brubbs was happy to just bang on the shelf and gnaw the butter bowl. 

 

Mia Jane LOVES to "do jobs." Her favorite is cleaning the toilet. Have you ever seen someone this happy over cleaning the toilet!?

 

Me and my man. Manly said he showed this picture to his class and one of his students said he looked high. Ha! High on love, I guess!!

Our Story: The End of an Era

Ready to go on a work date with my man.

 

Our church directory picture.  

 

Manly and his silly littles. Father's Day 2012.

 

Fourth of July Littles. Oh, baby boy! Why do you have to grow up!?!

The city built a sidewalk in our yard. They left their tractor. Brubbs got to check it out.

 

Brubbs also realized that he liked playing in the dirt with his trucks.

My girls LOVE summer time because it means Yeyeyeyeyes to VavavaVBS!!

 

Brubbs started wearing glasses. They made him even CUTER!

 

KK got her reading glasses! SO cute!!

 

Daddy daughter banquet. Lulu looks so little in this picture.

School year 2011-2012 KK's first day of K5 and Lulu's first day of 3rd grade.

These two became the hardest job I've ever had.

We visited the place where Manly and I met as a family. We have a brick on the legacy walk so we took our picture with it.

FAIR PARADE!!

My Lulu and me on her 8th birthday.

At Livi's doggie birthday party.

 

Halloween 2012. The girls were yummie goodies and Lulu and Brubbs are bakers. So cute!

 

KK decided she loves all things cooking. This child is obsessed with food.

 

All the great grandkids Thanksgiving 2012.

Christmas 2012

Another Christmas picture from 2012. LOVE Mia's face.

Lulu had her first piano recital!

Lulu got her first American Girl Doll. She named her Lydia.

More jammie littles. I should just go buy out Carters!!

Our little bike parade of Smittles.

Brubbsy and Manly got to go to the MONSTER TRUCK show! It changed Brubbs' life forever! HA!

Brubbs had a fire truck party with a REAL fire truck. AWESOME.

 

We went to the circus for the first time!! I think it was a hit.

 



As I mentioned in my last post, we decided we would wait a while after Mia before talking babies. A few weeks before Mia turned a year old Manly asked me if I was ready to talk. Thinking this conversation would go much like the last I agreed and while I was making dinner and the kids were playing upstairs we started chatting. I quickly learned this conversation would be nothing like the ones we had before. It went a little like this: Manly: "So, we said we would wait until Mia was a year old to talk about if we were ready to have another baby." Me: "Yup." Manly: "Well, I've been thinking about it and I think I'm ready to be done having babies." Me: "Uh...WHAT?" Manly: "I just think we have been having babies for a long time, and I'm ready to start raising the family we have." Me: (Drop spoon and begin water works) "Uh....I'm not even sure what to say...uh...I need a minute." Manly: "OK."
Feeling panicked I went into the bedroom and shut the door. How in the world could he have come to this conclusion? What in the world was he thinking? WHY? What about my baby boy? My baby baby I'd been thinking about for the last 6 months? See, I was ready to be finished too, but not before I had my "baby!" I just KNEW that the Lord had one more baby for us. I took a moment, said a prayer, dried my crying eyes, and returned to the kitchen where Manly had taken over dinner.
I sat on a barstool and with tear filled eyes told him that I wasn't sure I could be done yet. I explained about how I was ready, but that I needed a "last time" for everything. If I had prepared myself that Mia would be our last baby I could have done all of that with her, but I hadn't, and she wasn't. I tried not to feel panicked, but that's just how I felt.
I think Manly may have been a little shocked with my response. He just sort of stood there for a while. Stirring whatever it was that we had going. Finally he said, "I think I might have spoken too soon. I haven't even prayed about this yet." Feeling a ray of hope I said, "Then you should pray. If you still feel the same way after praying about it, then we'll be done. If not, let's have one more baby, then be done." I waited patiently for several weeks until one day he came in from work and said, "OK. One more. Then we're DONE."
I know some of you wonder what made us come to this decision to be done having babies. I know because many of you have asked me, and I'm totally open with anyone who wants to know. The truth is, I can't really explain it other than to say we just knew. I felt a complete peace with having one more then being done. I mean, I've been pregnant or nursing for the last ten years, I am EXHAUSTED. That's a big factor. Other than that, there are lots of little things like not being able to add anyone else into the Suburban and not having any more room for beds in the house. Believe me, I KNOW the Lord would provide all of our needs because he always has, but this was the FIRST time in our marriage that I felt a peace about our family being complete. Not only did I have that feeling, but Manly did to. I can't really explain it any other way than to say when you know, you know. You know?
Mia had her first birthday on May 4th. On June 22nd I found out I was pregnant for the last time. Well, unless God decides to bless us with some miracle baby. It was actually interesting this time because I knew I was pregnant before I could get a test to read positive. That had never happened before, but finally, I got a positive test and was overjoyed. You can read all about my last pregnancy in the Home Brewed Smittle series on my blog where I journaled my pregnancy from the day I found out until several weeks after delivery.
This time around I knew the baby was going to be a boy. I had prayed for God to bless us with a brother for Brubbs for our last baby and I just had a feeling we had a boy baby. When we went to the ultrasound and immediately saw that he was indeed a boy I shouted for joy and scared the poor ultrasound tech to death. Brubbs was SO excited about gaining a boy for his team that he'd tell just about anyone who would listen that he was going to have a brother!

More precious pictures from Paula Bean Photography. Probably one of My most favorite pictures of the two of us. I love how you can see Manly smiling even though you can't see his face.

 

Another favorite. We were so goofy trying to pose. Poor Paula! Finally she said, "Just kiss her!"

 My BFF Ashley got married when I was 37 weeks pregnant. I was SO happy to be there.

 

Manly and I sang and I was a bridesmaid. Such a sweet happy day.

 

We had always liked the name Eli, so we decided pretty quickly we would name him Elias and call him Eli. THEN came the middle name debate. From the beginning I liked Elias Paul. Manly's late grandfather was named Paul, and I have always loved that name(since I had a crush on a boy named Paul in grade school! HA!) Manly liked the strong sound in the name Elias York(which is my maiden name). We never decided on a middle name for sure until we saw him. I finally just told Manly he could name him whatever he wanted. I was just glad he had let me have my baby! So, Elias York it was.

 

These are the birth photos are by Paula Bean Photography. I love these pictures so much.

My man being strong for me.

A precious moment.

Checking out our new sweet miracle.

My completed family.

My first and last. I cry every time I see this picture.

Probably my favorite picture. Ha! Love squishing my darling baby!

This is my dream team. These three helped me deliver my last two babies. SO glad all three of them were able to help me!

My baby and me!

Oh sweet beautiful boy!

 

While I was still pregnant Manly and I started to look at options. I could have SWORN I blogged about our journey here, but for the life of me I CAN NOT find it. After researching and thinking and praying about our decision we decided to go with Manly getting a vasectomy. I actually asked around on facebook about a good doctor, and we made an appointment, went in for the surgery, and it was over with before I even had the baby!

perfection.(Paula Bean Photography)

 

Love this cute pic.(Paula Bean Photography)

 

Little Brother Chub Chub(Paula Bean Photography)

 

In this time Manly also decided to quit his well paying, fantastic benefits package job and pursue private practice counseling. To say it was a rough transition for us is putting it lightly. We went from having excellent insurance to having bad high priced private plans, he had to work strange hours, and he didn't make enough for us to live on for the first several months. He had made a financial plan that kept us afloat, but it was a VERY rough time in our home that I think takes second position for the hardest time in our marriage right below grad school.

Manly in his office the day we moved in all the stuff.

 



I know that we will and already are seeing the pay off, but it was and still is a very tough change on our family. I am SO proud of the unwavering faith that Manly has maintained. He made this decision only after a lot of praying and fasting. It was with bold faith that he walked in and resigned from his position at UAMS. He KNEW God was going to take care of us. He has never lost faith that he'll be able to build a successful practice. Sure he's had bad days and slow seasons, but his faith has stayed strong, and has been contagious.

My man on TV. So proud for him.

 



Elias has been such a joy for me. I prayed and prayed that God would allow me to enjoy him being a baby and not wish it away, and these past seven months have been SUCH a blessing for me. Eli is a fantastic blend of sweet and silly. All of his sisters and brother are in love, and fight over who gets to play with him. He's such a strong boy. He already pulls to standing, crawls, and cruises. He can clap his hands and wave bye-bye. He knows how to give high fives. He dances to music. He says mama and baba. He cries to be held, but loves to play in the floor too. He has a smile that melts my heart and a toothy grin that would make anyone smile.

Cutest baby ever.

 

Big old 5 month old STANDING in his bed! Yeah. Nuts!

 

Cute little silly baby!

 

God has shown himself to be faithful in our family. He has never stopped providing for us, and loving us. We can look back over the years and clearly see the hand of God right in the middle of our family. Someone once told me that when God calls you, he always equips you. I know now that is true. There is no way I would be able to handle this crazy life of mine otherwise. People always ask me, "HOW do you do it?" The answer is pretty easy. I don't. I'm here ONLY by the grace of God. He's brought us so far in the last ten years. I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter of our life.

We got our Palin and fell in love.

 

These two are a MESS! Hysterical. And covered in mud.

 

Smittles May 2013

 

Even the baby knows how we roll.

 

I got the school room of my dreams.

 

Then started teaching FIVE kids in it!(Plus the baby)

 

We took our third trip to Disney.

Disney Swimmers.

My pretty princess and her prince.

 

Oh boy! These two are going to give me grey hair!

Addi completed Cubbies in the AWANA program. This is her wonderful leader.

We had to say goodbye to our spectacular sitter as she went off to college. BOO for us! Yay for her!

We also had to say bye to our sweet Palin. Such a sad day for our family!

Sweet memories to hold on to though.

 

Memorial Day 2013.

 

First time fishing.

First time to church camp.

Lulu gets her studio!!

Father's Day 2013.

Fourth of July 2013(Also Addi's fifth birthday).

Lulu and KK got to go to music camp 2013. 

These two decided they were twins separated by a few years.

 

My Lulu grew up!

 

Easter 2013.

Eli's Baby Dedication

So thankful my Granny lived to see all my children be born. We were so blessed to recently celebrate her 84th birthday.

BROTHERS!!

 

So that's all the story we have for now. We aren't QUITE ready for rockers on the front porch yet, but as we enter this new season of our life of raising all these littles I hope we will love stronger, be more giving, smile more, laugh harder, pray together more, invite others over more, save more money, break up less fights, watch more movies together, sing louder, share more special moments together, teach our kids factions, potty train the last two kids, eat more chocolate, vacation more, go on more dates, and soak up every last drop of every moment we are given.
I can't tell you how thankful I am that you shared in reading Our Story. Don't want the story to end? Don't worry. It's only just begun! The next chapter starts now.

The Smittles 2013.