I Feel Sure of One Thing

Yesterday I woke up at the crack of dawn to ready myself for being at church at 7:30 for praise team practice. Unsure of what I should wear because of my ever growing early baby bump, I decided on a long black frock that would at least cover the bruises on my somewhat unshaven legs. I did have to use the nail file to erase the traces of mud under my toe nails from walking in our back yard to try to find out where water was leaking from our pool(obviously since the water was down so low that the pump was unable to move water and burned up!) the night before. I am feeling like a giant truck ran through my sinus cavity from being up in NW Arkansas for a few days, but thinking that with the help of a little sudafed(don't worry. It's safe for the babe.) I'll feel at least good enough to make it through both services. I get to church, practice, and sing pretty terribly in both services due to the fact that my head feels so terrible and my ears won't stop popping. God knows I gave my best. I'm just hoping that I didn't hurt others ears.=)
I came home and made a mediocre lunch for my family(cheese quesadilla's and homemade salsa). I finally got the chili peppers to eat their lunch and go potty and got them into bed for a nap. I then found a comfy spot on the recliner and fell asleep. When I woke up two hours later I felt worse instead of better, but fought past it and started getting things ready for our churches fellowship last night. Scotty and Olivia made some brownies for the event, then we had a nice grilled dinner(thanks to my sweet husband), got everyone ready, and headed to the pool for the church fellowship.
We got there and had lots of fun with family and friends, and then, the moment we'd been praying for since we found out we were pregnant for the FIRST time happened. Scotty had the honor of baptizing Olivia in front of our friends and family.
There are many things that I am unsure about. My health, the health of my unborn baby, the health of my children and husband, my job as a wife, my job as a mother. There is, however, something I am sure about. My Sweet Olivia's salvation. Yes, she is very young, but she is also very wise about things. Since she was a baby she's wanted to know about God and all things dealing with salvation. It seemed to blossom after her first Vacation Bible School where she heard her first "Come to Jesus" sermon. She came home wanting to know all about hell and had a steady concern for her being with Jesus in heaven. At first we tried to only give her a little info, because we didn't think she was really ready to accept Jesus as her savior yet, but she was insistent that she wanted to ask Jesus into her heart. Finally we grilled her and she got every answer right. We've been working through these with her and I think this also has had something to do with her feeling the need for the salvation Jesus can bring her. Anyway, about three weeks ago, she asked Jesus into her heart in our living room with us holding her hands. As she prayed her own prayer to her new savior her voice started to break and tears streamed down her cheeks. It was such a pure moment, not forced by us at all. We had made sure not to create an emotional atmosphere, so her tears in the moment were so sweet and beautiful. After she prayed she wanted to tell the world about her decision, and the next day she was so excited and had so much excited energy. After her decision, we talked to her about baptism, and at first she was a little nervous, but after a little thought and practice holding her breath in the pool she said she was ready and we signed her up for baptism at the fellowship at the pool. After talking about it we asked her who she'd like to baptize her and she said she wanted Scotty to do it. We talked with our pastor, and set everything up for last night. As I watched Scotty baptize her last night I was SURE Olivia knew what she was doing. As she came out of the water and took her goggles off(her only request was that she could wear goggles) there were tears in her eyes as she told Scotty, "I did it! I'm so proud of myself!" She's been telling everyone about her decision to ask Jesus into her heart. Even the people at the check out counter at Sam's know that Olivia is NOW a Christian.=) So, there are a lot of uncertainties in life, but this much is SURE, my baby girl will be with me in heaven.

Joy Comes in the Morning

So, yesterday was a bad day for ME, but the girls got a mini pool and I loved so much seeing all three of them play together. Addison would just squeal and splash. It's so much fun having three girls. God has blessed me abundantly with them. Last night, as we stood in a circle holding hands for family prayer time I was overwhelmed with love for my beauts. They are each special in their own way. They each have special talents, personalities, weaknesses, strengths. They each show love differently. BUT, what a blessing for me to be the mother of THREE GIRLS!
Today, I have a totally different outlook. Today, I'm OK with what happened yesterday. I'm still praying that the van sells quickly and I'm still praying that we will be financially free, but now I know that God will grant those things in His timing and NOTHING I do will make things happen any faster.
So, last weekend I ordered two sets of bunks that should be in today. I'm so excited to get the room sat up. We are looking forward to being ready for more children. I was telling Scotty the other day it's a huge step of faith for us to have FIVE beds ready for babies (including the baby bed.). Anyway, it's another reason to love today.
I always also love Thursdays because it's practice night for Praise Team. Seriously in love with being able to lead others in worship these days. I feel so good being able to be in that role again after a few years of being out of it. Singing in the choir at Bentonville was great, but there's something about being up close and hearing the voices of other worshipers. Anyway, another reason to be excited about today.=)
You all need some pictures, but I'm just not the greatest at uploading pictures onto blogger yet. If you're not facebook friends with me look me up. I've been posting all the latest and greatest there.
I think I hear the pitter patter of Smittle Feet. That means the girls are up and my personal time is at an end until NAP TIME!!!!

Give 'em roots. Give 'em wings.

Last night Scotty and I attended a memorial service. As we sat in the standing room only PACKED sanctuary of our church I looked around at all the sad facing mourning the loss of a friend, a cousin, a son, a grandson, a student, a brother, a child.

Our pastor sent out an urgent email this time last week asking for prayer for his family, as they'd found out that their 20 year old son had taken his life.

At the service last night we listened as the family talked about Jordan's accomplishments, inner struggles, and love for his family and friends. What an amazing person he must have been.

His parents raised him to be a strong, intelligent, Christ-loving, outgoing kid. Looking in to their life I'd say they did everything "right." SO, the question I kept asking myself was "WHY?"

Then, just like He was sitting in front of me, God said to me, "'Why' isn't important. What's important for you to know is that YOU can't make a perfect child."

I'm such a perfectionist. Even typing this post is grueling to me because I feel the need for everything to be perfect. Every day I wear myself out trying to keep my house clean, my kids looking adorable, and my life all in order. If, at the end of the day I look back, I can always find something that I didn't do a good job at; I yelled too much at Olivia, I didn't respect my husband, I didn't get the floor mopped.

My perfectionism doesn't stop there. I work really hard to teach my kids the right things. I tell them all about Jesus, show them right from wrong, correct them when they misbehave, and discipline them so that they don't make the same mistake again.

But, what happened last night for me, amid the sadness(and happiness-because Jordan is in heaven) of the memorial service, was that I learned that no matter how much I work at being the best parent I can, my job is to give my sweet blessings(my kids) right back to their maker.

HE and ONLY HE is in complete control of my kids. He's had them in His hand since before they were born. At some point, our kids will take on their own personality, they'll make friends, they'll decide what they believe for themselves. Not just what I've taught them; they'll make up their OWN belief system.

So, I'll do my best-I'll keep my focus on Christ and let everything else fall into place, and at the end of the day, I'll look back and know that my best was good enough. That God is in control-not me. That my kids need me to help them, but I CAN NOT make them perfect.

Easter, Singing, and a Broken Heart

The girls at our playgroup Easter egg hunt.

Sweet Addison! I can't believe how big she is!

Our family on Easter Sunday. My dress has really big flowers. Ha!

Emma Claire in her Easter dress.

Our girls in their Easter dresses

Me and the girls with my grandpa a few days before his surgery. We were celebrating his 71st birthday.

Lulu in her Easter dress. She's getting to be such a sweet big girl.

Addie Fae in her dress. She's almost ready to walk.

Olivia again. So big!

Easter was nice this year. Our new church had a great walk through experience that took us through the last few days of Jesus life, his death, burial, and resurrection. It was a great way to let the girls, especially Olivia see, feel, smell the whole thing. We really stressed the importance of the reason we celebrate Easter and I think that the girls really got it! We did the resurrection eggs with them and also read through Benjamin's box. It's so amazing to not only know that our kids understand what's going on, but they have been talking about it to others. What a blessing out kids are.

We also got together with family and friends and had lots of egg hunts. The girls loved looking for the eggs, but mostly just like the treats inside. Olivia also found out she loves boiled eggs.=) She WAS NOT going to try one, but her curiosity got the best of her and she finally gave it a try.

I mentioned our church earlier. We are enjoying it so much. For the first time in several years we know FOR SURE that we are exactly where we need to be. God is so good to put us in a place where we are certain our kids are learning and we are too. We are also getting ready to really dig in and get involved. I've started singing in the praise team and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It feels so good to be back leading worship. I've really been working on allowing God to really use me and that people would see Christ's love overflow through me. It's hard sometimes to not get puffed up when so many people compliment me, but it's been so amazing how God has allowed me to redirect that praise to HIM and to be reminded that it's ONLY HIM who deserves the praise. BUT, getting to be a part of that is so so cool.

So, my grandpa recently went in to have his pre-op consult for cataract surgery. After a routine EKG they decided that he needed to see a doctor before they'd complete the surgery. After a few scary days and two visits it was certain that he had to have open heart surgery. Last Wednesday he had bypass surgery. It was scary for our family, because he has never been sick and never even been on a prescription drug before. So, a hospital stay and extensive surgery threw us all for a pretty bug loop. He did well in the surgery though and even got to come home on Sunday! Please pray for his continued recovery. There are still some health issues that need to be unmasked and he still also needs to have the eye surgery too!=) Anyway, his heart is fixed for the time being and we are thankful for that.