Some Issues and a Little Help From my Friend(Olivia)

So, I'm outspoken. I haven't used this blog to get that out as much as I did with my Xanga blog, but a quiet, non-confrontational person, I am not. Sometimes this is not a good thing. It gets me in trouble with my friends, my sweet husband, and sometimes even the person that checks me out at Wal-Mart and tries to overcharge me for my bananas. I just open up my mouth and words come out. I've always been a talker. I've always been a "lets take care of business by talking it out" girl.
I work fast, get to the point, and take care of things in an orderly way that, in all honesty, works GREAT for my family. Something I'm learning, though, is that it is NOT for everyone. I am totally fine with that. I just have to learn to deal with it in a way that doesn't offend and doesn't change who I am. So, then I'm left trying to figure that out. Who is Leslie Smittle? So, here it is. This isn't me blowing my own horn, just using MY blog for MY purposes. I need a way to think out loud. Take it or leave it. The following is my thoughts on nothing else but me.It's bulleted, because that, also, is me!=)

• I am smart. Educated as a teacher, counselor, and musician.
• I'm fast. My mind works like a bike. Push the pedal and I'm off. In other words, give me a thought and I run with it. FAST.
• I'm good at being a mother. That DOESN'T mean that I know everything about it, but at the end of the day, I know that I've done my best and that's awesome.
• Creative.
• Structured.
• Perfectionist.
• Hard-core.
• Clean Freak.
• I like to stick to what works.
• Not so good at new stuff that's outside my realm of understanding or personality. That means that when I'm faced with a chaotic environment I don't think straight.
• I only do things that are best for my family. That means that I have to say no to alot of things.
• Because we've made God the deciding factor of our family we have to be prepared for a large family. Because of that, I've already got it in my head that we DO have a large family and I do most things in my life the same way Michelle Duggar does as far as schedules, chores, priorities, and the activities we take part in as a family. This helps out SO much!
• I would not be voted most likely to succeed by my peers in college, because all I wanted to do was be a mom my whole life.
• I also wouldn't get a check mark next to gets along well with others. I know. That sounds terrible, but I'm being honest, and it's true!
• I have issues of trying to run my family and often times say too much, lead too much, and disrespect my husband and have to apologize a lot.
• I'm good at planning things.
• I'm good at running things behind the scenes.
• I'm good at keeping up with a lot of things at the same time. Probably because I've worked as a church administrator and I basically had to make sure the church ran 24/7.
• I love to paint.
• I love to sing.
• I love to play the piano.
• I love to create pretty things like invitations, outfits, just anything pretty!
• I keep my house clean all the time without taking away from my family because I've read up and researched the fastest, most efficient way to clean.
• I'm a good cook. Not good at baking, but good at making a good meal.
• I'm not good about being honest with God, which is pretty hysterical to me when I type it, but again. Truth.

OK. So that's some of who I am. NOW. The issue is that I have to learn to be me in ALL situations without being that negative harsh person I tend to often be.

This morning, as I was thinking about all of this Olivia came into my room while I was getting ready for church. She had gotten herself dressed and was wearing a tiara she'd recently gotten for her birthday. My first thought was to tell her that she looked great, but that she couldn't wear the tiara to church. WHY? Well, because wearing a tiara to church just isn't normal. BUT, as fast as that thought came into my head I thought of the other side. She's being who she is. She looked beautiful.

Who is Olivia? She's a lot like me(POOR GIRL!). She marches to the beat of a different drum and likes to do most everything her own way. In her little 5-year-old head she was thinking that the tiara was beautiful and she wanted to look beautiful for church, so why wouldn't I want her to wear it?! SO, she wore it. This is actually the second week she's worn one. I want her to be herself. Who she is is BEAUTIFUL.

God made everything beautiful. That was the girls verse last week in AWANA'S. "He makes everything beautiful." Ecclesiastes 3:11 That means that who I am is beautiful too. I just have to get it straight. Be myself INSIDE Christ. I can be myself in LOVE and it would quite possibly be indeed beautiful. That's my desire. I don't want to be a conformist. I don't want to not be outspoken. I don't want to try to be something that I'm not. I want to be BEAUTIFUL.

If you are still reading I'm impressed. What a self centered post! HA!=)