Songs and Groanings

I've always loved Romans 9:26. It says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." There are so many days where I'm so exhausted and feel like giving up and I remember this verse and it comforts me. Some days I don't know WHAT to pray, but the Holy Spirit knows. He's taking care of me even when I don't know it. I love that. He knows what to ask for on my behalf and he does it.
Sometimes I'll step into a song that really gets my attention. Because I've been part of leading worship for the past (close to) 20 years now I've heard a LOT of music. Some of it doesn't need to be repeated, some of it is repeated umpteen million times in one song, and some of it, those rare few songs, you just can't get enough of. These songs, like the verse above, speak words that I often can't express.
I've mentioned here several times that this has probably been one of the toughest years of my life. There have been times when I think it just can't get much worse, then God will put me RIGHT at the edge. Honestly, it's felt like it's more like just OVER the edge. That's the point where I become less dependent on my fallen self and more dependent on Him.
It was in one of those moments when I found myself alone in the car listening to the radio. Now, that in itself is a miracle, because most of the time if I'm in the car it is NOT alone, and when I AM alone I usually don't listen to the radio. It's like a moment of silence before I return to my normal noisy day. But this day, I was alone and the radio was playing and I heard this song.

The first few lyrics caught my ear and had me holding on to each and every word. By the end I was a blubbering mess thinking that Matt Maher himself had snuck into my house and written that song while watching me live me life. There are days when I wake UP tired. I've found that every moment of my waking day I need the Lord. Without him, I fall apart, that's for SURE.

Fast forward a few months later to the time we took six kids to Disney World. You remember, right? Ehhh....Anway, on the trip there I was listening to my Jesus Culture station on Pandora and came across this song by Jenn Johnson. Everyone in the car was asleep except for me. I had a mini worship fest just listening to the opening lyrics.

 My number one cry out to the Lord in my every day life is that I'm so overwhelmed. I mean, it doesn't take a lot around here to get overwhelmed. I just love the flow of this song from crying out for help, to calling on the name of the Lord, to giving Him praise. We're going to sing it in church for the first time this week, and I'm so excited!
I'm so thankful that even in these current rough days of my life that the Lord finds ways to remind me He is still in control, He loves me, and I can look to Him. He is where my help comes from.